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A Hilarious Video Which May Not Exist

June 3, 2009

First, commit this man's face to memory

First, commit this man's face to memory

I have a challenge for you, loyal Pegleg Spinners readers. Somewhere in the universe there exists a certain video clip so amusingly awkward that it almost begs to become an internet meme, and yet, despite an exhaustive search, I have not been able to find this clip anywhere in cyberspace. I want you–yes, you!–to take up my quest and succeed where I have failed.

Allow me to elaborate. The mists of time may have clouded my memory a bit, but I’m going to recount my tale as specifically as I can. One evening many years ago I was surfing TV channels when I came across that beacon of Hollywood glamor, the TV Guide Awards. David Spade, the host, was standing onstage behind a podium reciting his opening monologue. It is such an honor to be here, joke about a celebrity, etc. Everything was going as planned until Spade reached for an actual TV Guide trophy which was sitting on the podium in front of him.

Every actor's dream

Every actor's dream

Spade failed to grasp the object and accidentally knocked it onto the stage, where it shattered. The camera cut to a beautiful wide shot of Spade standing awkwardly behind the podium, staring at the shards of plastic lying on the floor, and mumbling, “Can we… Can we get another one or something?”

For a few seconds I was sure that this was a planned lead-up to some sort of skit. Perhaps Will Ferrell would walk onstage dressed as the president of the TV Guide Company and berate Spade for screwing up the show. Nothing of the sort happened. Spade stood hesitantly until, presumably, some off-stage crew member signaled that no help would be arriving. Spade then continued with his monologue and tried his best to ignore the smashed remnants of his dignity piled a foot to his left.

And that’s as much as I remember. I admit that this story may not be as captivating as, say, that kid swearing on Jeopardy!, but it was memorable enough to me that I’d at least like to see it once more, just to find out if it was as awkward as I remember it being. The problem is, Google searches along the lines of “david spade breaks tv guide award” haven’t yielded anything. In fact, I can’t even find evidence that Spade ever hosted the TV Guide Awards at all. So maybe I’m misremembering the incident. Maybe it was some other comedian, or some other awards show. Maybe it was all a dream, or the least interesting hallucination in history.

But whatever it was, I want answers. And if there’s a suitable place to search for information about trivial celebrity slip-ups, it’s the internet. So if you have (or know of) footage of anyone breaking anything at any awards show, please leave a comment on this post. I will be eternally in your debt.

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