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The Worst Place For A Speed Trap

June 19, 2009

Don’t get me wrong, I love cops. Every night I feel all warm and safe under the covers because I know there are men and women out there who have taken an oath to protect and serve. That being said, sometimes cops are real pussies. The latest example brings us to the closed-off, residential street that my co-blogger lives on. This street doesn’t get more than a few cars every hour, and naturally, most of it is from the people that live on that street. In other words, if somebody is speeding, that person probably lives on the road he or she is speeding on. I think this is important to note because what one of my co-blogger’s neighbors did this past week is probably the most passive-aggressive attempt to end speeding that I have ever seen.

If you have ever taken a few minutes to look at the road when not texting on your cellphone you have probably seen those portable speed detectors that the police set up on the side of busy streets to remind drivers of how their speed is compared to the posted speed limit. If you are driving over that limit the giant number turns red and a kitten dies, or so I have read.

He specifically had to ask me not to torch the house.

So, here’s my problem. Why was this very machine put on a road that only gets a handful of cars each hour? I will tell you why. It’s because a house full of idiots decided that it didn’t make any sense to knock on doors and tell their neighbors that they want them to drive slower. Instead, they harassed police over the phone until they caved and set up the giant speed machine. Good to know where the town’s taxpayer money is going. Honestly? Is this really how you fix a problem you have? I am all for keeping kids safe on residential roads but build a homemade speed bump or something. As far as I am concerned, there is one good way to use this resource when it sits on this quiet, lonely road–to test how fast my co-blogger can run (11 mph).

There is nothing to do in our town.

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