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My Media Feud With Mandeldove

June 24, 2009

**Editor’s Note (7/2/09): This post was read by Mr. Mandeldove as I expected it would be. It was clear that he was speaking directly to me through the media when he was interviewed, as mentioned later in this post, and I was happy to respond in kind. Mr. Mandeldove’s representatives were unhappy with this post and suggested that a former lover of mine had slept with an athlete. I would like to take the opportunity to emphasize the obvious: this post is a joke. We are happy to have become important enough for Mr. Mandeldove to directly mention in his twitter. Unfortunately, despite Mr. Mandeldove’s request for people to write about him (below) he has chosen to make such action more difficult by turning his twitter to private mode.

Picture 1As some of you may know, I covered the UConn men’s basketball team last year as part of a class assignment in a blog called, The Center of the Universe. For most of the season, I remained a bottom dweller in the sports world and I was rarely a first source for inside information about the Huskies. That all changed when I started following a goofy bench warmer by the name of Jonathan Mandeldove. It just so happens that I went on Twitter one day and found a “tweet” he had made. I put the information on my blog, my professor talked to the sports department at Fox News (we is also employed), and later on that night it made big news. Mandeldove was considering a transfer from UConn after riding the bench for three years. Well, I recently discovered that Mandeldove gave his own impression of how this all went down, so I feel the need to set the record straight. Mandeldove is the tallest liar ever.

So, let me back up and explain how the feud Mandeldove and I are having through the media actually began. I wrote this post. It was the first in the country to talk explicitly about the possibility of Mandeldove transferring (they did it second)as well as the first to comment on the “tweet” he wrote. In case you are lazy, he is the “tweet” so you can see what all the fuss is about.

You will notice, if you clinked on the link above, that my original post used the “tweet” as a jumping off point and not as a cold reality. Nonetheless, I saw an interesting comment that was made on a publicly available space and used it. Months later, Mandeldove has not transferred and it not seem likely he will.

And then a few days ago, I read this post by my favorite UConn basketball blogger.

First, he references the above mentioned events, although sadly he is unaware that I am person behind all of it. But, then it gets real interesting. He asks Mandeldove about it. This is what he says.

In fact, Mandeldove, a senior, said transferring from UConn was never a consideration. As for the “tweet”, it was just a joke on Mandeldove’s part.

“I saw (the rumor) and I replied with another tweet, ‘Leaving campus right now,’ because I saw someone was following me and posted it up on another website,” he said. “That was a little prank.”

So, Mandeldove wants to clear the air? Okay. He says he made the whole thing up including the first tweet that resulted in me writing a blog post. Let me see if I got this right, he pranked me for writing a post about something he had not yet done. Apparently, I am also a time traveler, and hey, so is Mandeldove.

In case you are curious as to that second “tweet” that he wrote after he saw my post about his first “tweet” here it is.

Picture 11

Here’s the reality: Mandeldove isn’t man enough to admit the truth. He was considering a transfer that night and then after “tweeting” it he either got in trouble or it decided against it and now he wants to say it was all a joke. He is starting to remind me of those guys who say something stupid and regrettable and try to fix it when they sense the crowd is against them with a timid “just kidding.”

Simply put, there’s no way anybody can believe that he pulled a prank on me for something that I hadn’t even done yet.

What is this all really about? Nothing. This whole thing is pretty stupid. It’s childish. I’m cranky because my name didn’t show up in the papers for the “reporting” I did that night or maybe because I have never really enjoyed the scholarship that he takes up as his ass crease on the bench becomes the only lasting proof of his time as a Husky.

So why does everybody else love this guy? I suspect it has something to do with his name. Being able to make dove bird sounds in the student section definitely helps. I mean, he certainly has rejected the association.

Picture 2

I’m not saying that Mandeldove’s life is a joke. But, I’m not not saying it. So, how should I end this post. Well, I think it should end the way it truly began. With Mandeldove’s twitter page.

Please feel free to check it out on your own time. His twitter name is “bigbad32” which are actually three adjectives that pretty much sum him up.

Speaking of summing him up, have you see his career stats at UConn after three years?

Yea, but he is first on the team...in our hearts. Well, not mine.

Originally, I planned to challenge Mandeldove to a game of one-on-one to settle this matter. Then I realized that beating him won’t prove anything, plus my knees hurt. So instead, I am just going to post some of his “tweets” followed by snarky comments. And yes, he wrote all of these.

Not only is that incredibly fucking morbid but it is also extremely obvious. The answer is to have your limbs torn off slowly as a bear eats your entrails. Next.

I’m not even sure where to begin with this one. Should I try to explain why this is dumb. It hurts my head just thinking about it. Not to mention the fact that he speaks a language that is not only more difficult to speak but also has a shit-load more words. Okay, I take that back, he may only know a small percentage of them.

Picture 5

Next.

Picture 6

You’re just lucky I’m not your professor.

Picture 7

I just vomited in my mouth.

Picture 9

Okay, this one is actually kind of funny. He makes a good point. Then again, I think he rushes to a conclusion too fast. After all, I don’t watch him and assume that all basketball players out of Georgia suck.

Picture 10

I’m not sure if this an epiphany or if he is responding to somebody else. Either way, he can’t be any worse than Ed Nelson. Please go away and practice your jump shot.

Picture 13

Jonathan Mandeldove, the philosopher.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. Matt permalink*
    June 24, 2009 10:44 am

    This post may legally qualify as stalking

  2. S. permalink*
    June 24, 2009 4:38 pm

    Matt, I can tell by that sentence you have absolutely no experience with Twitter. What you just say is that reading a Facebook Newsfeed is stalking. And you can make jokes about that, but you know it isn’t.

  3. Matt permalink*
    June 24, 2009 8:59 pm

    I didn’t mean it in a bad way

  4. Matt permalink*
    July 3, 2009 12:10 am

    Re: “What is the worst way to die?”

    I think I saw some “X-Files” episode where Mulder said that the most painful way to die was getting shot in the stomach. I don’t know how anyone would know that, though.

  5. Veronica permalink
    July 8, 2009 1:05 am

    I think…I think I love you.

  6. Samuel permalink*
    July 8, 2009 1:15 pm

    thanks, keep reading every week!

Trackbacks

  1. An Open Letter to Jonathan Mandeldove « Pegleg Spinners
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