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John Fox Is No Wilford Brimley

July 27, 2009

I recently went on a diet after getting my blood test results back from the doctor. The numbers were not good. It turns out that if I continue on the same path I will likely end up with Diabetes. Or some kind of heart disease. Now, don’t get upset; this blog will be around long after I am dead and gone (or at least a few more weeks) so there’s no reason to panic. But, it’s time for a life change of sorts. I have to eat better. My inspiration was the smartest man on television today: Wilford Brimley. Every time I see his Liberty Medical commercials or his stellar performance in the movie Cocoon (not his only movie), I am inspired to keep eating healthy. Maybe it’s his surly voice and rugged looks or maybe its his startling resemblance to a walrus. Either way, his constant presence in my life has been a life preserver. John Fox, world-famous bass fisherman, has ripped that life preserver out of my hands and forced my head under water. Allow me to explain.

Mr. Brimley is no longer doing commercials for Liberty Medical. Yes, we are to believe that they no longer cared for his personal stories about living with “diabeetus.” What personal stories? Well, YouTube can help me with that.

Just watching that makes me miss him even more. So, who is this John Fox guy that took Mr. Brimley’s place? Well, he’s no Wilford Brimley, that’s for sure. You be the judge.

Not the same is it? I don’t think Liberty Medical has any idea what it is doing anymore. They actually thought some fisherman with the same name as an NFL coach as well as many other people (making Google searches a pain in the ass), would be better than a man once a possible candidate for the Vice Presidency of the United States. Wait, what? Oh yes, Wilford Brimley was considered by Sen. John McCain. When asked in August of last year who would be his VP pick as he was walking on a airport tarmac, he stared directly in the face of a reporter without blinking or a smile and said, “Wilford Brimley.”

Who knows what happened between then and Sarah Palin. Frankly, I think John Fox is involved. This asshole has been trying to destroy Mr. Brimley since he lost to him in a friendly game of racquetball a few years ago. Well, I won’t be a part of this behind the scenes character assassination that is dragging Mr. Brimley through the mud. This man is a hero. This man is a god. Keep fighting, Wilford Brimley. You inspire me.

"Hello, my name is Walter Brimley and these are my nipples."

"Hello, my name is Wilford Brimley and these are my nipples."

7 Comments leave one →
  1. Craig permalink
    August 6, 2009 6:31 pm

    Hey Samuel, I know John Fox personally. He has been a staple in the bass fishing world for a long time. Although he never starred in a Hollywood movie, he is an excelent representative of the elderly diabetes community. Wilford isn’t doing those commercials anymore. That’s not John’s fault. He has a fishing show now called Senior Outdoorsman. He’s been on the air for over twenty eight years. He’s a ten time BASS champion. He represents a much greater portion of the population in America than you and everyone that you know. I think this is a good opportunity for you to do some research into exactly who John Fox is. I think you will take advantage of this time to recant your own rant.


    Craig Uhle.

  2. Samuel permalink*
    August 6, 2009 7:40 pm

    Mr. Craig Uhle,

    I can’t pronounce your last name but allow me to pronounce judgment on your rush to a conclusion. The fact that you find a need to defend Mr. Fox is beyond pathetic. This blog is obviously a joke. People who take it seriously are bad people. I wish I could explain it any other way, but I can’t. You speak as if there are millions of bass fishing enthusiasts who constitute a silent majority. Sadly, I wish this was true for then I could have lived my life without seeing your comment. You imply that I don’t know anybody who has diabetes or is above the age of 50 so you’re pretty much now the dumbest person to ever read this blog and that’s saying a lot (no offense to our longtime readers). I actually did try to do research on this guy but the Internet has the whole thing about “search optimization.” I don’t think Mr. Fox has heard of it. I would never recant my rant. My rants are what make this blog worth reading. Please read Matt’s post about assisted suicide:

  3. September 16, 2009 2:03 pm

    John’s a professional tv pitch man along the lines of Billy Mays. I would also comment that he is very dedicated to fishing and hunting. I helped produce the pilots of The Senior Outdoorsman. We were up at 2:00 am and didn’t come back until 6:00pm. I know that you are being satirical but I found this site from doing a search on John Fox. John likes to fish and wants someone to help with his SEO. He’s 80 something and a survivor of certain illness’ I am not privy to discuss. He makes an excellent spokesman for Liberty. He is smart, patriotic and a family man. Liberty though should help him out or his support on the current The Senior Outdoorsman staff to at least produce a wiki article on him. So that he can be found better. When I started the show he only had one website I didn’t even know who he was because I am only 39. I found by working with him that John has had and interesting life. You would be surprised and entertained. One little known fact is that he is a good singer and wins karaoke all the time at 80 . Anyhow everyone loves Mr Brimley too. However, all John is trying to do is encourage the “Senior” community to get outside. There are resources and helpful people to help Seniors to enjoy outdoor life. So get off the computer, and go outside then you may not be so bitter.
    Todd Austin,

    • September 17, 2009 11:12 pm

      I guess the irony is that you spent as much time as I did on the computer to write that comment.

  4. September 18, 2009 1:35 am

    I am hypocrite but got outside today. Your blog is humorous though keep up the good work.

  5. September 22, 2011 3:29 pm

    Dear Samuel,

    If you make it to 81 years of age and if you work half as hard as John does, then make a comment. Today, Sept 23, 2011, I received two video’s from people John took fishing. Both groups caught well over 100 bass.

    Other people John has taken fishing, tell me he works them to death, the man is smart as a whip and hard working as any 20 year old.

    I don’t know why you have decided to attack him, but you are wrong. I spent a lot of time with him.

    I build boats, any company would give him a boat. I am too small of a company. He bought his from me.


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