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Ozzie Guillen is an Idiot

August 10, 2009

I think the heat is getting to me. I had an idea for a great post but this is the one I am going with instead. It’s probably the humidity the pisses me off but for the purpose of this post, it’s Ozzie Guillen. Do not mistaken what I mean. I don’t hate the Chicago White Sox, in fact a reasonable argument can be made that they are America’s team. And I love America. However, the manager of the White Sox happens to be the loudmouth idiot, Ozzie Guillen. There are two things that can ruin baseball steroids and death. I’m simplifying but that doesn’t make it any less true. And while Mr. Guillen does not use steroids nor does he deal them out to players (at least I have no proof that he does), he is in fact a dealer of death. Oh yes. The manager of the Chicago White Sox is trying to play God. How? By ordering retaliation for pitches thrown at his star players. Well la-dee-fucking-da, Mr. Guillen.

"Don't worry, I will shoot 'em in the knee cap for ya."

"Don't worry, I will shoot 'em in the knee cap for ya."

According to ESPN, Major League Baseball is now investigating comments that Mr. Guillen made after three of his players were hit by a pitch on Saturday.

“If I see someone hit my player, and I know they hit him on purpose, it’s two guys going down,” Guillen said. “I don’t care if I get suspended. I rather have me suspended for two games than have my players on the DL for 30 days.”

As it turns out, the White Sox are only the fifth most hit team. The White Sox oppenent on Saturday, the Cleveland Indians, are the most hit team in baseball.

Apparently, nobody ever told Mr. Guillen that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Instead, of addressing the issue by speaking with the manager of the Cleveland Indians or by complain to the MLB, he made a public threat of violence directed at every team. Real mature. I understand that he wants to protect his players, and I respect a manager willing to do anything to make sure his team stays injury free, but there is a line that cannot be crossed. That line seems to be in Mr. Guillen’s rearview mirror.

The worst part is it seems that he actually knows that it’s not on purpose.

“I know for a fact they’re not throwing at nobody, but enough is enough. I have Konerko bruised all over the place. Around the league, be careful because we’re going to hit people. I don’t care if I get suspended because I need to protect my players.”

That makes what Mr. Guillen is saying even worse. If it’s not on purpose then there has to be recognition that players getting hit is part of the game, and in the case of the White Sox, might be related to way people are standing in the batter’s box. If Mr. Guillen does not dispute that it isn’t on purpose and that his team has been hit less than four other teams, then he needs to enroll in an anger management program and stay far away from a sport that remains perpetually bruised from an entirely different curveball (that’s steroids for our readers who are not big sports fans).

If the White Sox are mature enough to grit their teeth and take their place at first base after a wild pitch, their manager has to be willing to do the same. Metaphorically, of course, if he took first base that would just be confusing. It is inexcusable for thousands of children to watch their favorite players purposely plunk hitters in an act that essentially is no different than a scaled down form of murder for hire. If Mr. Guillen can’t handle the pressures of managing hitters that lean into pitches, he shouldn’t be the manager. I can think of at least one guy who could do a better job.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Seamus permalink
    August 11, 2009 12:29 am

    Oh-bamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  2. Mike permalink
    August 11, 2009 6:40 am

    i think ozzie said that simply to scare other teams, without intent to actually carry it out. especially now, with everyone talking about it, he won’t risk getting one of his better pitchers thrown out of the game in a pennant race.

    ozzie guillen is a nut job who is still employed because he walked into a 4 man rotation in 2005 that carried him to a world series ring. if the chi sox miss the playoffs this year, he gets canned.

  3. August 19, 2009 1:07 pm

    Metaphorically, of course, if he took first base that would just be confusing.

    hilarious.

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